No Apologies Here
One of the things I’ve noticed out in the blog universe is the number of poor bloggers who feel the need to apologize for not blogging more frequently.
This reminds me of people who start their letters–always, all the time–with “Sorry I haven’t written; I’ve been so busy.”
I understand, of course, the need to apologize. I’ve even done it myself. If people are counting on you (or you think they are), you don’t want to feel like you’ve let them down. And we do have a cultural need to avoid hurting people’s feelings.
The thing I wonder about, though, is why, on something like an online journal, we as a group feel the need to apologize for less-than-frequent entries. Of course, exceptionally long periods may demand explanations, if only to bridge the narrative gap, but several days or a week?
And anyway, there’s a distinct difference between an “explanation” and an “apology.” Isn’t there?
Personally, for the blogs I read regularly, I always appreciate new posts, and sure, the more frequent the better. But do I feel offended if someone’s been too busy to post for a few days? Like I’m being let down? Nah. A little worried? I supposssse . . . but only if they’ve dropped off the net for an exceptionally long time. In such a case, I do appreciate knowing that person is all right, and my natural curiosity is always grateful for explanations. (“So, that’s why!”) But do I ever feel that I deserve an apology? No. I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s sweet and polite, I suppose, but really, I’m content with a simple, “I’m back. Here’s what happened.”
(Okay, climbing off my soapbox now . . . not that I feel like I’ve been vehemently orating here, just expressing an opinion, but anyway, I’m done!)
And my explanation here, is that I really have no knitting content tonight. I have no new Chappy pictures. Nothing really interesting to say about my recent reading. (Unless you find it fascinating that I’ve read 24 books so far in April? No? I didn’t think so!) My parents did make it safely home tonight after travelling pretty much the entire day (from breakfast until they got home after 4:30). They’re both exhausted, and glad to be home–about as happy, I think, as Chappy was to see them. He had two lonely days while they were gone and I was at work, and today’s rain didn’t help.
I watched “Jack and Bobby” tonight–a show I very much enjoy, but about which I’m terribly worried. I’m not hearing encouraging things about its renewal for a second year, and yet, it’s so good! It’s more than just a “teen” show (which, you know, is good since I’m in my 30s). “Veronica Mars” is another like that–engrossing, well done, witty repartee . . . it’s all good. At least that one has been picked up for another year (thank heaven!). I’m worried about “Joan of Arcadia,” too, and have pretty much given up on “American Dreams.” (I’m just going to be grateful that we got three years of such a good show.) I hope “West Wing” manages to maintain its improvements from this season–not that it compares to the first three years, which were pure gold. And I’m loving “Gilmore Girls” these days–this season has been one of the best ever, I think. And then there’s “Desperate Housewives,” which I appreciate not because it’s a “soap,” but because it’s got a sense of humor. Give me drama with touches of humor any day!
And that pretty much sums up my television viewing for you!
And so we come to the end of this rather odd little post. Just me talking into the ether about nothing in particular. I mean, really, who wouldn’t find that riveting reading??
(Okay, just to be clear, that was a rhetorical question.)
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Its interesting to me that you mention bloggers ‘disappearing’ and the subsequent apologies. I’ve had the experience, from the other persepective, of having someone disappear and then being truly worried about them.
In at least one case, I sent an email and asked if everything was okay. And I do think the inquiry was appreciated.
What I find funny is how involved we get in these ‘strangers’ lives and how dependent we become on ‘hearing’ from them regularly. I know, when I’ve talked to people who are disconnected or just don’t get the whole blog thing, they’re morbidly fascinated by the degree of involvement we have in these strangers’ lives.
The network we have created IS quite amazing, to the degree Cassie describes. And it is important to many of us. It’s certainly not our primary social web, but it forms a secondary one, since we do often end up meeting each other.
I think the apology syndrome is related to worrying about being excluded if we are “absent” too long, or forgotten, tied in with the usual self-esteem issues. I see a fair amount of that leaking thru posts, if not explicitly stated.
I know what you mean, and I don’t think I have apologized, since I often write for me. I love having people read my drivel, but my main goal is documenting my own projects, feelings, and general life happenings.
I think it boils down to feeling a sense of obligation to one’s audience. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but blogging shouldn’t be a chore, just as knitting shouldn’t be a chore.
I have been guilty of removing links for blogs that rarely update, unless those folks are IRL friends. So the pressure to produce is there to an extent.
This is a funny subject, since I was busy with medical stuff this week and didn’t post regularly and then felt like apologizing! Like Cassie, I have emailed someone when she didn’t post for many days, because I was seriously worried about her! And like Laurie this network is in some ways a social web that is part of my primary communication with other people, since I live out in the country. I’ve also gotten to meet several people in person that I’ve first met through blogging. I think what is most important to me is that this group of people shares my interests to a degree that many other people in my “everyday walking around life” don’t. These other people, while I can see their smiles and hear their voices, do not rapture with me over the wonders of fiber arts: knitting and spinning and weaving.
To wit: Deb, I wanted to ask you how you like your Lendrum.
HEY – you know very well (if you remember a ocmment I made a while back and the attempted bribe to share your secrets!)that I DO find it fascinating that you’ve read 24 books since April – I don’t care if I am the only one, but you *know* how impressed I am with your ability to read books like water! OK, so it doesnt mandate posts every day and no, you have no need to apologize for not sharing that accomplishment with the rest of the blogging world but think of poor envious me, pining away for tales of readers who voraciously devour the written word
Just teasing ya of course, but all joking aside, HOLY MOLY – 24 BOOKS? I SO wanna be you when I grow up. Ive said it before, I will repeat it for anyone who will listen – that goes beyond impressive!